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The Coming 3D Dystopia
Posted 04/13/2010 by LobsterJohnson in Other | Submit idea in this category

The is less an idea than a prognostication. With the profusion of 3D movies being released and 3D TVs now shipping from Japan, I think the future won't be so much full of Star-Wars-esque holograms but rather 3D media much like what we have today.

I'm predicting that in the next ten years people everywhere will own 3D-ready prescription glasses and contact lenses. It just wouldn't be the future if corporations couldn't charge to enhance the experience of being constantly bombarded by their advertisements everywhere you go. They have the technology to make them visible without lenses, but your eyes are free.

Of course being Green in this future (or appearing to be) will be a critical part of being a responsible citizen, the biosphere having collapsed as predicted in Cameron's 2009 3D mega-hit Avatar- so be sure to get the one's labeled "3-D" on the frame so everyone knows. That is, unless you want the theater staff giving you dirty looks expecting you'll forget to recycle your temporary pair after leaving with them in your pocket. Pretty soon, you'll just have to wear them all the time just to avoid being hassled by street hippies.

Clearly your kids won't want to be the only ones at school who can't see Kaptain Krunch in gloriously vivid stereoscope, so get them a pair as soon as possible, remembering to start a fund for the inevitable eye surgery they'll need after fucking up their eyes from spending all day and night playing 3D games instead of going outside (there's nothing but garbage out there anyway). Start a fund for yourself, I hear 3D porn is closer than you think.

What I'm essentially painting here is a portrait of a world where half of what you see when you walk outside isn't really there, it's a projection created through current 3D tech. This idea is not new, but the opportunity for turning a problem - the need for glasses - into a new market, is. Advertisers naturally stampede to use any new attention-grabbing tech, and in future where resources will be scarce and attention-spans microscopic: virtual environments, mascots, signs, and models will not only be dazzling, but endlessly reproducible and infinitesimally cheap. My take on this is the insidious prediction that you'll be tricked into paying to see it.